I love a cool breeze cross my face in the late night air when the world is quiet and I love a fresh breeze early in the morning when the air is cool and the birds are singing. This morning feels special and I and my family are blessed. Everyday I think about publishing my book. Everyday I ask myself how. Every bit of money that I have truly goes towards family needs and family concerns other than my very own personal obligations. Everyday I want to stop writing and end the story but I can’t. Do you know that each minute a new piece of the puzzle of life creates a story never told? The stories continue. I feel like writing is my only outlet; it allows me to share and vent to the world about my fears, my joys, my hopes, my dreams, and my concerns. Writing is my medicine right now and it is the only thing I do along with praying.
We have all been very busy! My mother came home from the hospital after having been admitted to Medstar Washington Hospital Center in Washington, D.C. for treated for Pnuemonia. My brother Tyrone is hospitalized and I do not know where. My daughter, son and I will try to find out where he is. We were told he had been to Medstar Washington Hospital Center, then transported to Manor Care, then to Suburban Hospital in Bethesday, then Washington Adventist Hospital and now he is at Casey House (Hospice). Na and I drove to Casey House to visit him and check things out Wednesday, April 17, 2013 right after work. What a nice staff and beautiful facility. Prior to that date, I took our father to Kaiser-Capitol Hill on Friday, April 12th, for a routine eye exam in Ophthamology and they discovered that dad’s heart rate was 26-27. Dad was rushed to Medstar Washington Hospital Center and it was determined that dad needed a “pace-maker” immediately. After much testing and assessments, dad was given a temporary one. During the course of the weekend, dad pulled it out. Cardiology scheduled the Pacemaker Implantation for Monday, April 15, 2013 and during the procedure, dad experienced Arrhythmia. Dad progressed and was released from the hospital on April 18, 2013. Somehow in the midst of the on-going health concerns of father, mother and brother, my grand-daughter has been missing (MIA) for about two weeks now. She has a history of running away. I have often wondered, “from what”? The same night daddy was released from the hospital, the police called to say that they had apprehended my grand-daughter for “shop-lifting” and would be returning her home to her mother. God does answer prayers. I had begun to think that my constant and fervent prayer was a hoax. It had appeared that the more I prayed, the harder life, circumstances and daily living became. But God is in control, has all power and knows best! The police did mention that they would not close her case because he predicted that she will run again. The police stated that in most cases of teen runaways, they predominately come from grounded, good, families. I know that our family is weary. I know that our current status does not offer an encouraging smile. I know that we all are upset with the government, social services, and other entities that dictate the quality of life for all of our sick loved ones. Since 2010, I have been asking my husband if he could change his work schedule to help me out. Now some three years later, I am still asking that same question. I won’t comment on what he said to me. I am going to let you figure it out.
My hair has not been washed in ninety days. I keep buying clothes from the thrift stores, people keep me clothes to wear and I keep recycling them all. I look smaller to myself in the mirror, afterall, I came to Maryland from a twelve year stay in Los Angeles, California ony weighing in at 90 pounds. Since 1990 to 2013, I have gained weight and now weigh a whooping 126 pounds at 5’7″ tall. If it were not the Lord, wigs, weaves, braids, makeup and creative wardrobe styling skills, I would look like a “train wreck” waiting to happen. Thank God! I have been busier than ever with trying to complete the following things: pick up another replacement cricket cell phone, pick up my car from the shop (brake work), return the rental car, mail nineteen pages of medical bills to South County social services for my brother, contact someone at social services on behalf of my brother, fax nineteen pages to three people at social services the proof of medical bills for my brother averaging $220K, contact friends and board members for the Center for Leadership and Social Development. By the way, did I mention that my daughter and I started a non-profit (501C3) organization that provides wrap around social services for Youth and Young Adults with development of leadership and social skills in the midst of all of this? My days and nights are full of agenda’s, errands, task, and things to do. I am continuing to do the following: pick up mommy’s prescriptions from CVS on Marlboro Pike in Forestville, Maryland, celebrate mom’s birthday April 21st (card, flowers, dinner), pick up pictures processed at Rite-Aid on Silver Hill Road, drop off class room CD’s used back to the library, obtain a PO Box for CLSD, call the Lupus Foundation so that we can donate all of my recycled clothing and things, trash living room curtains that the little dog “poouchie” continues to piss on, mop all the floors in the house, buy some soap powder, create dad’s living will, unenroll in the automatic bill payment system for a few bills, complete the 990 tax form for CLSD (non-profits), create a business bank account for CLSD, create Power of Attorney paperwork for my brother, and complete the Advance Directive paperwork for my brother. Whew! Can I get a nap now?
I visited mom the other day and she asked me, ” would you have taken on the job, if you knew it would be this hard”? And I replied, are you talking about my promotion at UPO to Program Manager of Adult Education and Training or what? She said, “your dad”! I responded, ” Yes, I would have taken on the job. He is my father. He was all alone. You are my mother and you are all alone. Ty is my brother and he too is all alone. What would Jesus do? I did not know what to do, but I am trying. You are all my family and I love you all and I care very much. I hope that when I am old and gray and unable to care for myself, that someone will show me the love of God and treat me well.
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